andrew i didnt say i want you back. i didnt say i love you, im not saying i dont. i dont even..really know what i wanted from this.
im glad you are getting over it, i am too id say.
about the cheating you and hurting part - i still dont believe im in the wrong. i didnt cheat on you, nothing hapoend between me and david that would cross the line you and panko had.
i wanted us to break up before africa, but as my mom and many others have adviced me i left it for when itd be over so i wouldnt ruin it for you and your dad.
i know you felt the difference though.
also the help around and treating me well - if you give a flower sour soil, deownding on the flower itll react differently. blueberries will bloom, lavenders will rot. different people, dofferent qualities and needs. im not saying you didnt do anything for me, im not saying i wasnt happy. but i dont think it was what i ever needed so badly. sure, dinners and treats are nice. remember, i sacrificed my time as well and sometimes you still said it wasnt enough. i got you gifts and you complained i didnt buy you enough treats.
yes, this is all misscomunnication or overall, not enough communication which is obviously a reccuring theme in my relarionships.
im sorry to hear about the anxiety attack, i wouldnt wish that upon you. i know how that is and i struggle with the same thing.
dont have much to say.
if youre curious, i can send you the responses. theyre still in my notes.
pac pusu, alex